What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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What did Anne Frank get for christmas? Nothing Anne Frank is jewish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man walk into a bar, the bartender asks what they would like to drink, after respnding, paying and receiving their drinks, they sit down to drink them. What a lovely scene of ethnic diversity

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

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I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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What has legs but can't walk? A paralyzed man.

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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Erica is so sexy i want to hump her

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why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

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Is that a threat or a promise? dragonflies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops