69

thumb_up thumb_down +10

YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops