"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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Maturity is a virtue.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 witnessed while hiding in a closit 7 rape and kill his mother.

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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Woman's Rights

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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Q. What did the blak guy say to the other black guy? A. Hey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops