what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

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What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

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what do trees and humans have in common? they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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knock, knock who's there? I'm here to kill u! I'm here to kill u who? .......

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Why do babies cry on airplanes? Because gay people are getting married.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A horse walk into the bar, the bar tender asked, why the long face the horse unable to understand English takes a shit and walk away.

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Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

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where did sally go after the bombing? everywhere.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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Why did the Afircan child die? He had AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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