Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

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Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

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Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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do want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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How many WOMEN does it take to change a light bulb? YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS GONNA BE MORE THAN ONE!

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knock knock piss off

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yolo mother f-uckaaaa

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What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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