What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

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The shopkeeper said to a customer, "It's raining cats and dogs!" The customer said, "Okay, I'll take eight of them."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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69

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I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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