Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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Jaden McMichael

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What is big, white and hairy A refrigerator, I lied about the hair

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What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

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girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

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Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

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guys stop with the jewish jokes anne frainkly its getting old

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Why do gay guys like push pops? Because they are a delicious lollipop treat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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Whats big, hard, and in my pants? A tumor.

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What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

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Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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