You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Knock Knock.. Who's There? Boo.. Boo Who? Book...

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins the china town

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Anne Frank

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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