why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

i'm funny

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An Asian fails their maths exam.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops