Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? Four, one to take the light bulb out, one to put a new in, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the guy holding the ladder

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

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whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

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What did the orphan get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Dogs in my home.

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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69

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and oranges? With one,you can make a delicous smoothie, but the other is just a pile of citrus fruits.

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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