How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Woman Rights

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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Men don't cum twice easily. That's why Jesus hasn't been around for awhile.

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yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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How did the girl die? 25.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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