when life throws you lemons your an idiot because it wont

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Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

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Chad Wolbert is retarded.

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why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

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the doctor says to the patient " i have some good news and some bad news" the patient says well what is it dock " well the good news is your fine " the patient asked what the bad news was and the doctor said " i lied about you being fine you have aids, and testicular cancer and you have 2 days to live"

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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A Jewish man walked into a.............................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................car

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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