What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops