Get out of the way everybody, a group of elephants are tumbling down the mountain!

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

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Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

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Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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gay marriage.

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The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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How do you differentiate a Canadian from an American ? The American will have an American Passport,while the Canadian will have a Canadian passport.

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What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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Whats the worst part of Chemotharapy? The Cancer.

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What's the difference between Vagisil and Black People? They are disgusting!

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you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

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Why did billy fall off the sea-saw Because he got kicked in the throat

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How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

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Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's dead

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If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms Why did the boy drop his ice cream Because he was hit by a truck. and geuss who was driving the truck? The girl with no arms

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Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance addiction, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life and was apalled by his bad decisions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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