Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

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Yo mama's so fat. PERIOD.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

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What's the difference of 13 and 4? 9

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What is better than AIDS? Cancer.Cancer and more cancer

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What's worse than dying? Dying poor.

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

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What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

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How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

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Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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