Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

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You read the Terms of Service.

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A YouTube brawl began between two gentlemen in the comment section. They agreed to a final answer and moved on.

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Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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http://richardfigures.com/

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whats 2+2? 4

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What makes 10 year olds laugh? Se x Jokes.

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What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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^that joke a piece of shit

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Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had places to be

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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