Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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