what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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Once upon a cross

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

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Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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This sentence is false.

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

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wanna here a dirty joke? Suree A white horse fell in a mud puddle dum dumdum dum duuuuuuummmm

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why are black people good at jumping and white people aren't? That's stereotyping people .... anyone can be good jumping as long as the practice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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