A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Priority parking for hybrid cars

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Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

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Chuck Norris is an average human being!

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Whats the difference between a frog?

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Deadly cancer.

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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a man walked into a bar ouch

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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Q: What's up? A: Definitely not a plane, due to an unfortunate hijacking and terror bombing shortly after departure. There were no survivors.

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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Whats worse than finding out that your family is dead? finding a worm in your apple

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Knock Knock Who's there? its the police mam your son has been killed by a hit and run driver, the driver was an alcohol

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what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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