Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

WNBA

Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

Roses are red, Violets are VIOLET!

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

Why couldnt the kid see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

Did you know brown and green rhyme? Just not with each other.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black

what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

A baby seal walks into a club.... Oh....

What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

It's only racist if you consider them people.

Q: What did Cyclops say to Wolverine? A: "We're both X-Men!"

politically correct!

What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

Why did bobby fall of the swing? He had no arms -Knock knock -Who's there? -Bobby -But how? -I knocked with my diick -Oh

Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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