When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

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What does a witch put food in? A lunchbox

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XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

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You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

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I hate black people. Because their black.

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Pen15

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Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

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Whats black and white, and red all over? A Zebra being slaughtered.

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YA MAM, is a very nice person

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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Why didn't Sally make it to school on time? She got savagely beaten and raped.

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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Nero the guy that killed four Neo Nazi`s desecrating the funeral of one of my late members in Chile with a revolver hidden in one of the 46 hidden pockets on the inside of his trench jacket with lots of folders here, inside whose only side effect is making me look like I spend a lot more time at the gym, later one of them found me, ran towards the police which laughed at him pointed at me and said: That guy with a prosthetic arm? You dont believe me... Excellent! Nero The Avenger

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why did the girl cross the road? to commit suicide

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lol this is the best joke ever!

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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Whats the worst part of Chemotharapy? The Cancer.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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I just found out i have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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