Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

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Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

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Two tubes of ice cream are sitting in a freezer, one turns to the other and says "its bloody freezing in here" God then corrects this apparent mistake in the combined laws of physics and biology

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A horse walk into the bar, the bar tender asked, why the long face the horse unable to understand English takes a shit and walk away.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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im black

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Wanna know something fishy? A fish

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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Hearpin my durp

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What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

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George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

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Whats big, hard, and in my pants? A tumor.

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69

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What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

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Penis

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What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

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Ask me if you can see my dinosaur. Can I see your dinosaur? No dinosaurs don't exist sillyhead!

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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