Q: What do you call a black hitchhiker? A: A hitchhiker

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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What is a black guy's favorite hobby? Stamp collecting.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

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An 8 year old, a 9 year old, and jerry sandusky walk into a shower...

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varför skriver jag på svenska jag vet inte

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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There is no joke here, stop reading.

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3 Jews walk into a bar. Few minutes later a penny is dropped. This resenct occation causes a bar fight to brake out.

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What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

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Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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A fish and a human had a conversation. The conversation was not interesting because fish can't speak and the human felt awkward.

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there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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