what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

How do white people screw in light bulbs? They read a manual.

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a truck.

What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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