Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

Knock Knock! Come in!

Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...