I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

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A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Pokemon pencil!!! A Pokemon pencil who? I just found a Pokemon pencil next to my computer when I was playing pokemon!!! LMFAO!

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What time is it? Refrigerator

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Why did the mother cross the road? To find her dead baby that was hit the night before.

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What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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Q: what do you call a drunk blond? A: a cab

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

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i have yougurt with tractor

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You know what sucks? Yes.

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Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

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Q) Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A) Real Joke : Because the parrots-eat-em-all

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A Mexican, A Caucasian and An African American walk into a bar. Suddenly, a rival of the African American's pulls up in a used Chevrolet and shoots him 6 times with a semi-automatic handgun. The Mexican and Caucasian are distraught and call 911 immediately. The rival is later arrested and found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury of his peers. Less than 6 months later, the bar is closed due to the negative stigma surrounding the shooting. Urban life is a harrowing and tough experience that most outsiders will never fully understand.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Pokemon go: Team mystic

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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A blonde and a brunette are falling from a cliff. They are going to die.

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What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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