roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

luke moore cant pull it back

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Proof reading

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

ass in my face ? no

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what does a man with no leg say to a woman with one eye? hello. by Mad James

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Muslim athletes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

thumb_up thumb_down -10

?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops