What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm Blind.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

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why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

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I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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