Now Showing: EVIL SLOTHS II "The worst death is a slow death."

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What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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kiss me?

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

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Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, he was hit by a car.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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