What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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yo mama's so fat, she wears a big belt

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What came first -- the chicken or the egg roll?

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A man walks into a bar, and has to go to the hospital because he broke his nose.

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Why did the black man go to the gym? Because he was severely fat and would live a short life if he didn't lose weight.

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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There's a Korean Black person and a Mexican on a cliff who jumps first? Who Cares

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Why don't people like this joke? It makes no sense.

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What's brown and sticky? The british econonic system from 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007.

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Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

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What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Vodka is less Than dinner for two

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Why is a Wesley a black man ? He licks tuna

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Your momma's so fat, her doctor seriously recommends that she lose weight for the sake of her health and happiness.

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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Whats the worst part of Chemotharapy? The Cancer.

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Did the Chicken cross the road? No the road moved the chicken across.

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What does the color 9 smell like? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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