A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

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why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Roses are red violets are blue you have cancer......

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Can you answer one question for me? Yes Thank you

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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A Brunette a ginger and a blonde were getting their hair done? WHich side of the bus did they sit on? Why did i put a question mark on the first part?

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

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How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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What did the Russian scientist say to the British scientist when he saw two black guys enter a strip club? "Two black guys entered the strip club"

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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