how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

Penis.

i like turtals and kids

How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

brainfart

How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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