Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Chickens like to wander around.

stevie wonder watched a movie yesterday

And then i said what about breakfast at tiffanies, and then you said i hate that movie.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

How many Neurons does a bug have? - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - -- - - - -- - - - - - -It's true

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

What did one hater say to the other hater? I hate you.

Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

maths is annoying!!! LIKE if you agree!!!!! :D

She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

Yo momma's so fat, that she was put in this joke

1+1 =? Too

How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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