What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

Yo momma is so fat, that she is not able to wear the clothes she wore the previous year.

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

"Doctor, Doctor I think I am a pair of curtains" The man was swiftly referred to the psychiatric ward.

a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

roses are red violets are blue im in class

Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...