Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

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A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

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Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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What did the sign say at Disney World? Disney World.

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Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

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Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

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What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why was the man full? He ate a meal.

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soccor

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What did the victim say to the rapist? If you're gonna rape me, at least let me go get you a condom

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So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

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Gary: How many sides does a triangle have? Juan: 2? Gary: Nope, it's 3, nice try

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Why did was micheal jackson named micheal jackson? because his was

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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There was an Irishman, an American and a French man standing at a bar. They all ordered drinks and struck up conversation with each other about what they do for a living and their families. They all go home to their partners and have a peaceful nights sleep.

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? silence... Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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