Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

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What is worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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Why did Harry Potter cast a spell on Chuck Norris' penis? Never mind.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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Trees are like friends. They both fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

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Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

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Why did the man try to lick his elbow? Because he read a chain email saying no one could lick their elbow and he wanted to see if it was true. You will probably try to do it now too.

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water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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A Jew and a Nazi walk into a bar... 1 year later they are married with a baby on the way

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A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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What's funny about a blond, a brunette, and a red-head, drunk in a Cadillac? Everyone knows integration is a myth.

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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What's the difference between a cup of tea and a polar bear? A polar bear is a bear whilst a cup of tea is a beverage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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