What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Aodhan peanut head Hearty

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What do you call a black man speeding away in a Ferrari. A wealthy man who is late for work.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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Penis

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A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

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What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

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What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

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Tom has 24 cupcakes Tom then ate 24 cupcakes what does Tom have? Diabetes Tom got diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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Why was the baby crying? Because you repeatly hit it in the face with a brick, you sick freak.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This doesnt rhyme, Microwave.

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

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How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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Q: Why did Katie fall of the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Katie

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Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

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John Rustenburg at the dinner table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops