Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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8

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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chuck norris

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Woman Rights

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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A genie came out of a lamp explain?

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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Mike tyson

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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