If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

where do you find sunglasses at? the store

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I saw a poor man named rich

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

It burns when I pee sometimes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's There? No One No One Who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person you are seeking is deaf and cannot hear the sound that is made when your knuckles come in contact with the door. Try calling next time..........

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops