Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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Women's sports.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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An 8 year old, a 9 year old, and jerry sandusky walk into a shower...

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whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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Q: Why did Sally not like her trip to Hawaii? A: A volcano erupted and killed her whole family.

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a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

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If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

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we all know sammi has a penis

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

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Yesterday, I was hosting a party, and there were a lot of people crowding around some fruit punch I made all trying to get a glass... Whoops, it appears I forgot the Punch line.

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Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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