Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I can't see my forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Twenty-Four

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mom is so fat that she enjoys junk food regularly.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the white guy say to the black guy? I used to be black also. My name is Michael.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call an Arab on a plane? A passenger, you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops