- Anti Joke

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA gargle" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."runs JOKES KILL >:}

Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

What did Pikachu tell Ash? "Pikachu."

Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

My phone rang. So I answered it.

Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

i like pie.

How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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