knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

Q: What did the dog say to the cat? A: animals don't talk

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

25

what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

Iggy Azalea

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

Why was the black man scared of the chainsaw? Because his father was killed by one when he landed on it when he fell of his ladder that was holding him up while he was cutting the limbs of a tree.

Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

Hey guya im a female stripper and if you want to have some fun call me 8633972535 thanks. -Tyler

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

when chuck norris plays call of duty, his only perk is ghost pro.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...