Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the child get hit by a bus? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A son went to ask his father about his thoughts on abortion. "Dad, what do you think about abortion?" "Ask your sister." "I don't have a.."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happens when a black man falls out of a tree? He gets hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Dyslexic devil worshippers sell their souls to Santa

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There once was a man from Kentucky...then he raped everyone in sight... THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why does it suck to be a black jew you get the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hi? No!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

2 out of 4 questions. How do you get an elephant in a fridge? Open it, take the girrafe out, put the elephant in, and close it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops