An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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Deadly cancer.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A bleeding zebra.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

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what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

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How many 1 ft dwarfs does it take to climb up a 55 ft ladder? Only one. It's just a ladder. All you gotta do is climb up it.

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a rapist.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

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What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

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Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

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why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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I'm gay. No homo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops