What's worse than eating cows. Death

What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

An elephant walks into a bar..what the hell

When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

shammmm is a lesbian.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

whats 2+2? 4

girls basketball

Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

knock knock come in

we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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