There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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You.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

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Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your friend Jim Oh hello Jim, please come in it is very nice to see you this fine evening.

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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love is a homeless guy searchin' for treasure in the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and even though he's heartbroken he can't complain cuz he was hungry in the first place.

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what do you call a black man in prison? justice.

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i dont like attention whores lol

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Tell me a joke Tell me a joke! TELL ME A JOKE!!! ...Womens Rights

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the dog that was chasing it.

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this is not a joke

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What's worse than not receiving presents on Christmas Day? Being forced to consume your own flesh

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How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... So he could be hit by a car.

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You know what sucks? Yes.

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how do you make a orange juice. get orange juice and pour it in a cup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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