What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

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What is better than a cat? Nothing

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

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What do you call a black kid with dead parents? Depressed

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why is Justin Berber gay? hes not thats rust a myth

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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Mike tyson

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Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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69

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5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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