A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Anne Frank get for christmas? Nothing Anne Frank is jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I need a good anti joke....

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The BCS

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did it take so long for the baby's to paint my wall? I didn't throw them hard enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A homosexual walks into a church

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What has one eye but cannot see? A brick with an eye drawn on it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Anal

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: How much does it cost to have 50cent and Nickleback perform together? A: 45 cents, because its 50 cents, and you get a nickle back

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops