What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

what did one black man say to the other black man? hello

What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

Give me thumbs up!

Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

Q: Why was Sally crying? A: Because someone punched her in the face

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

Women's rights.

A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

how many jews can you fit in a volkenswagen? 2 jews in the front 2 jews in the back 15 jews in the ashtray

Strawberries!

WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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