Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

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What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

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What did Jim say to Bob? Hi Bob.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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What isn't funny? The holacost.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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how do you save a black guy from drowning. with a life preserver.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

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How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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