A hitman and his target walked in the same bar togather what happend? nothing because a hitman has better things to do and the target would lay low.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Yo mamma's so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch. :) By Drew Bolton

thumb_up thumb_down -36

why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

person 1:Dude, look at the news person 2:Yea man, its D ick Cheney person 1: what a d ick head

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Saying "MY MOM" everyone time ur asked a question

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What happens when two jews meet in the bus ? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not worth telling a joke about that.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Roses are black, violets are black, we are all black Shit i'm colour blind

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Knock knock? Who's there? To. To who? To WHOM.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO CARES!!

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

thumb_up thumb_down +51

It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops