What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

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Why was the guy shot? He was a soldier in World War 2. Lots of people were shot.

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

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Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

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It's fun for you and me, that's why they call it OCD It's easy as 1..2.... Hey look a butterfly!

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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Q. Why does Samuel Jackson always play a black guy? A. Because he's black.

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Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

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Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? gang rape

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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