A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

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Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

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What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

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what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

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why dont we just take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else

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Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and oranges? With one,you can make a delicous smoothie, but the other is just a pile of citrus fruits.

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whats a dick a dick

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

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What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

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where wally? wallys a myth.

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Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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Gary: How many sides does a triangle have? Juan: 2? Gary: Nope, it's 3, nice try

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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What did Jesus say last before being nailed to the cross? I don't know, It never happened. ...Why did he say that? He didn't, it's not real.

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What is Kanye West's main goal in life? To crush the hopes and dreams of singing stars on national television, beginning with Taylor Swift.

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Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

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I was going to tell a Holocaust joke, but I Jews not to. Anne Frankly, it's disrespectful. I'm sure you did Nazi that Hitlerious anti-joke coming.

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why is a bad joke like a dull pencil? cuz thers no point!!!!

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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