Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? Well its wing were clipped so it couldnt fly across the road.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

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A black and a mexican jump off a building, What a tragedy...

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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Knock Knock whose there your biological parents REALLY No

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Your Best friend. Did you forget what I looked like?

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How do you kill a mocking bird? You throw an axe at it.

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Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: How should I know?

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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what do you get if you eat cream cake, coffee cake, strawberry cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, and sponge cake? a very large stomach-cake.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 is a serial killer.

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Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

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Roey Jegen

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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